This article contains spoilers for the Harry Potter series and Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.

Additionally, I understand that as a play and therefore a new medium for the story, the stage production could provide a different prospective on the story. However, since most of us haven't had the opportunity to see the play, I'm examining the play as a written work.

Now that's all out of the way, on to the review.  


On July 31st we revisited Hogwarts and the world of Harry, Ron and Hermione with the release of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. This time for (possibly) the last time. My sister and I read the book aloud to each other, reminiscing about the time I read Sorcerer's Stone aloud to her so many years ago. We finished in in two days, at about 3:30am because once the play hit its stride, we couldn't stop until it was done.

I've taken some time to think about the play, I've read the think pieces, and I decided to contribute one of my own.

But, before getting into my review, I feel like I need to establish my credibility as a Harry Potter fan. 

I was first introduced to the series when I was around 5. My mom and I listen to Sorcerer's Stone on tape (Jim Dale, of course). She read the next two books aloud to me, mispronouncing names like Hermione and Sirius in a way only a mom could. I remember when Goblet of Fire came out she heard it contained themes that were maybe more mature than 8 year old me could handle. But once she gave the all clear, my interest in the books took on a life of its own.

Should "all was well" have been enough?

Who are your favorite television characters? Buffy or Daenerys? Walter or Omar? Those badass characters are admittedly admirable but I prefer a different type of character. My favorite television characters are a little more relatable, representing those of us currently, well, failing at life. They're lazy, they're messy, they're sarcastic. And, above all and at all cost, these characters resist the responsibilities of adulthood.

1. Abbi and Ilana - Broad City 

Abbi and Ilana are best friends in their 20s, living in New York City. They're hilarious together, especially when they enable each others worst behaviors, which is often. They're both underachievers professionally, working (or avoiding work) at unfulfilling jobs. They're more interested in avoiding responsibility than in seriously pursuing careers.

Best Worst Moment: In Season 2, Episode 6 Ilana and Abbi fall into the internet matrix in a relatable sequence near the beginning of the episode. Starting with a dog wedding evite and Judge Judy's net worth, the two end up so absorbed in what they're looking up they forget they're in the room together. This moment represents a pretty much daily occurrence in the trash baby life.

2. Mindy - The Mindy Project

As a fairly successful OB GYN, Mindy has her professional life pretty much figured out. However, I included her on this list because her unabashed love of reality TV and celebrity gossip, her secret stashes of junk food (and her love of food in general) and, especially in the early seasons, her dating disasters are all marks of a trash baby.    

Best Worst Moment: When Mindy is feeling sad or stressed at work she lays down on the floor of her office, refuses to do work and demands food from her coworkers. One time she asks to be fed sour straws. Another time she asks to be brought McDonald's. This coping technique shows a level of emotional immaturity, a love of food and an inherent laziness that all trash babies can relate too.     

3. April (and Andy) - Parks and Recreation 

We meet April as a sarcastic, unmotivated intern at the Parks Department. She is directionless throughout most of the series, with no career or personal aspirations. She finds her perfect trash baby match in Andy, who, when we meet him, is using a broken leg to get out of ever leaving the couch.

Best Worst Moment: In Season 3, Episode 11 Ben, the couple's new roommate, watches April and Andy share a fork to eat turkey chili, using a frisbee as a plate. For breakfast. We learn that not only do April and Andy not wash their dishes but they don't actually own any. "We’re cute, right?” says Andy. Although they eventually buy dishes, their messy living situation is almost inspirational.  

4. Heather - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 

In a show full of trash babies, Heather still manages to stands out. She is the archetypal millennial, living at her parents house, taking occasional college class and working occasional minimum wage job. She starts watching Empire ironically but ends up genuinely loving the show. She goes with a near stranger to his family Christmas party because she hears they'll be free food.
     
Best Worst Moment: Heather has a retail job at the mall. In Season 1, Episode 18 Heather runs into potential love interest Greg while on a break from work. When he invites her to hangout she quits her job on the spot to hangout with him, not because she necessarily likes Greg that much but because she's that lazy and unmotivated to go back to work.

5. Titus - Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt 

Titus came to New York City to pursue his Broadway dreams but also to avoid coming out to his new wife. Although he comes to the city optimistic, after years of trying and failing to start his career he becomes less motivated to do well... anything. He rarely pays rent and constantly relies on the kindness of his friends.

Best Worst Moment: In Season 2, Episode 9, after Titus quits his job, he refuses to do anything productive. For instance, one night after drinking a box of amazingly terrible sounding key lime wine and "shame-spiraling" he gave all his Barbies perms and fills the bathtub with them. Unemployed Titus is all of us, give or take a couple Barbies.